Heart's Adventure

I was driving along the highway in my beautiful State of Vermont last week when suddenly an issue I was struggling with became clearer in my mind and I thought to myself, “why did it take me so long to get this clarity?” How could I have learned this lesson sooner and avoided the pain and frustration that finally led me to a solution?

I thought of my years of school and work experience that gave me the skills to be where I am today – and boy that certainly took some time! However, I know that I’ve been able to shorten my learning curve when I am focused on something that holds real interest for me, when I seek direction from experts, and when I allowed myself to make mistakes as part of the learning process.

Fortunately or unfortunately this isn’t always the case. For me, college was one of the best learning experiences of my life. Not because I was totally focused on my studies, but because I was open to the broader experiences of college life and willing to explore life’s possibilities on a variety of levels. This spirit of adventure was key in forming a perspective and focus on learning that supported my own happiness and satisfaction. There may have been shorter path to an answer, but none so rich and rewarding.

So again, why did it take me so long to gain clarity about that issue as I drove down the highway? Would it have been quicker to focus on strategies and seeking expert advice on how to resolve the issue? Perhaps, but maybe some solutions, and even better solutions, develop through a process that is more unconscious. Maybe the first step is to not get caught in the frustration of not knowing but approaching life with an open heart and mind, enjoying the journey, and allowing the best answers to simmer gently until their most palatable.  Perhaps another lesson in letting go.

The Irish playwright & essayist, George Bernard Shaw, said “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” This quote really supports the concept of coaching – that each individual has the power to move forward in a positive way to create the life they want. The idea of “finding” oneself implies that one is lost and certainly we can feel lost at times in our lives, but it is our actions that ultimately lead us to a better place. This can include trying more effective ways to deal with those feelings of being lost, choosing to look at thinks from a different perspective, and taking a different path. Other people may influence us, but the choice is ours. Coaching can help provide direction by helping to identify choices and asking important questions – How do you create a life you are proud of? What next steps can be taken to create the life you want?

When is it time to let go of things that keep us from moving forward in our lives? Perhaps it is a psychological pain, i.e.: anger, remorse, grief, or unhealthy relationships. It can also be a tangible things, real-estate, automobiles, recreational equipment or just items that we’ve collected over the years that now weigh us down. It’s not always easy; sometimes we get end up holding on to things out of fear, even unhealthy ways of being in the world, because they are so familiar; tangible items hold meaning for us, evoking memories, becoming symbols of status; they help define us and our world. How often do we take stock of the things that hold us back, the barriers that keep us from moving forward no matter how much we may dream of doing something different with our lives? How often are we pro-active with this process as opposed to being forced to let go by circumstance? Letting go is a process that can take time, but the first step is always finding greater clarity about where we want to be. If we can truly really get a sense of the world we want to create, we can better understand what we need to get there. Creating forward movement towards ones dreams can help us move away from things that weigh us down. What course have you set for your life’s journey?

As we go through our day to day routine, what do we hope to accomplish? How often do we sit down and get a clear idea of where we want to be and what we really want out of life? Whether we’re working to achieve a personal goal, gain a new skill or pursue a new career it’s important to ask the question, “Why”? – Where would we be if we met those goals, had those new skills, new job or promotion? Would we be happier, more peaceful, and more financially secure? If we can be clearer about where we want to be and why we want to be there, we can begin to tap in to our own internal resources and start to take action. We can plan all we want for success, but it is really having clarity of vision and understanding the meaning of our journey, that truly enables us to embark on our hearts adventure.

“Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.”  ~ Author Unknown.

There are always things I feel I “need” to accomplish. I’m reminded, however, that more often than not, the internal deadlines I set for myself do not necessary best serve my ultimate goal. In fact, taking the time to allow ideas to evolve and being open to the ideas of others usually results in obtaining a much richer outcome than I initially anticipated. Procrastination is a label we give ourselves and others when we feel that something “should be done”. It is often an unsuccessful defense against anxiety, since it ultimately leads to additional stress, and guilt, affecting our self esteem. While we are all faced with external deadlines, there are many deadlines that are self created. Letting go of these “shoulds” and the negative label of “procrastinating” is a first step. Having a clearer view of where we want to be and celebrating the small steps that lead us to our goal is much more empowering than these internal judgments. The road to a happier and more fulfilling life does not follow a schedule – It’s a journey directed by your heart.